Pocket Shop

Women have been known to lament, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." For Johnny Smith, the problem is, "Always a Best Man, never a groom." At age 33, housepainter Johnny has been Best Man eight times. The ultimate man's man, Johnny loves the Mets, the Jets, his weekly poker game, and the hula girl lamp that hangs over his basement pool table. Johnny has the instant affection of nearly every man he meets, but one thing he doesn't have is a woman to share his life with, and he wants that desperately. When Johnny meets District Attorney Helen Troy, he decides to renounce his bro-magnet ways in order to impress her. With the aid and advice of his friends and family, soon he's transforming his wardrobe, buying throw pillows, ditching the hula girl lamp, getting a cat and even changing his name to the more mature-sounding John. And through it all, he's pretending to have no interest in sports, which Helen claims to abhor. As things heat up with Helen, the questions arise: Will Johnny finally get the girl? And, if he's successful in that pursuit, who will he be now that he's no longer really himself? THE BRO-MAGNET is a rollicking comedic novel about what one man is willing to give up for the sake of love.

If your mother offered you 8 million dollars to have a baby, would you do it?

Jamie Jacobson doesn't have a lot of faith in love, except when it comes to her Jimmy Choo shoes. Her brother Danny has two loves; his barely existent acting career and his ability to pick up women. But life is about to take a wild turn for these two dysfunctional but lovable siblings now that their mother has just won the lottery.

Frankie, a longtime widow has wanted grandchildren for years. Now she's prepared to pay cash for them. When Frankie presents her son and daughter each with a contract promising $8 million dollars if he or she can produce a child in the next twelve months (DNA tested, of course), Jamie and Danny each begin a frantic search for a person to help them reproduce.

Come along on their desperate, outrageous and hilarious journeys where fake seductions, ovulation kits and a tarot-card reader are replacing condoms, the pill and fun, meaningless hook-ups. They hit a couple big bumps in the road that have nothing to do with their lack of diaper changing experience, but a lot to do with their hearts.

Now they face the choice of their lives. Give in to love? Or go for the JACKPOT?

Keely Jones believes all she wants in life is a successful advertising career and a corner office. However, that all begins to change when she bumps into a Frisbee player while jogging with her dog. When she’s given a good luck charm she’s skeptical about the magic of true love or finding her soul mate. But when things start to heat up between her and Darren, can she truly ignore it? Or will he be the one man who can ruin her career?

Darren Wright has returned to Knoxville to regroup and to join his sister’s advertising agency. He isn’t looking for anything major to happen in his life, yet when he bumps into a cute brunette and her dog, things begin to change. He’s soon promoted to Creative Director and falling for Keely. How can he tell her he works for an opposing firm? And if he doesn’t, will he risk losing her for good?

Perry makes a strong first impression, from her white-girl dreadlocks to her uncensored opinions.

When she combs out her dreads on a whim, she catches the eye of a cute guy who's a regular at The Whistle, the diner where she works as a waitress. He mistakes Perry for someone completely different: the girl of his dreams.

Perry tries to become that girl.

But it's so hard to be normal.

And eyebrow piercings are so cute.

~

With her mother down in LA recording her comeback album, Perry's in charge of the family household, and things are going to change. She starts with paint colors and moves on to doling out retributive punishments for her fifteen-year-old brother.

What Perry really wants, though, is her first boyfriend. She's eighteen, and it's about time!

Boyfriend candidates include: the cute but quiet restaurant regular, the all-too-willing coworker, or the outgoing artist who's eager to whip off his clothes and model. One of these guys loves Perry exactly how she is, but how can she tell which one?

Full of young people behaving awkwardly, Smart Mouth Waitress, A Romantic Comedy, is a light-hearted, giggle-inducing read. 

For: YA for older teens to adults (some mature content)
Length: 90,000 words or 270 pages
Kindle DRM-free for your convenience; may be converted for other digital devices.

Each Life in Saltwater City book is a stand-alone novel.

If you enjoy a quirky, fast-paced book with heart and humor, you'll love Smart Mouth Waitress.

LEGWORK is the debut novel in Katy Munger's hilarious and acclaimed Casey Jones Mystery series. Casey is a big, bad bottled blonde who takes no prisoners as she delves into cases for those who are marginalized on the outskirts of society. Set in North Carolina and the surrounding states, LEGWORK features a colorful cast, solid plot and writing that is both laugh out funny and vry moving at times.

Claire Cook's beguilingly original Ready to Fall struck a vibrant chord with its "perky take on midlife angst" (Publishers Weekly). In Must Love Dogs she gives us a contemporary Everywoman in a big rollicking south-of-Boston Irish family-a zany novel with the flavor of Nora Ephron, Susan Isaacs, and Jeanne Ray's Julie and Romeo.

Forty-year-old Sarah Hurlihy, a divorced preschool teacher whose life is her classroom, is about to meet her first date in more than a decade. It was the "Loves Dogs" that hooked her in the personal ad, and now she is scanning her neighborhood café for the man with a yellow rose. And find him she does, but he's the last person on earth she expects to find there . . .

In Must Love Dogs, hilarious missteps abound. Sarah's widowed father, Billy Hurlihy, with six adult kids, is seeing at least two women. And he and Sarah aren't the only Hurlihys with romantic challenges. Her brother Michael, for one, has a rocky marriage that Mother Teresa, his St. Bernard, just may put over the edge. With self-deprecating humor and a laugh-out-loud view of the way we live now, including shar pei/Labrador crosses and a transgenerational body-piercing experience, Must Love Dogs is a perfect beach read that melts the heartache of dating with warmth and humor.

Emma Woodhouse has the world at her fingertips. She’s young, pretty, and smart; she also happens to be the reigning queen of her village’s social scene. Emma lives in Highbury, a small town about sixteen miles outside of London, with her aging father. Mr. Woodhouse loves Emma, but he’s utterly unable to offer her any guidance – which is perhaps why Emma doesn’t seem to have any sense of her own limitations. Life seems pretty sweet – if a bit boring – and so Emma decides to spice things up by taking on a protégé, Harriet Smith. Even though Emma’s determined never to marry herself, she immediately decides to find Harriet a husband.
Determined to make Harriet into a gentlewoman, Emma sets out to refine Harriet’s tastes – especially in men. She convinces Harriet to dump Robert Martin, the young farmer who likes her, and set her sights on the town’s clergyman, Mr. Elton. Unfortunately, Mr. Elton turns out to be in love with Emma – or at least with Emma’s money. After the Mr. Elton debacle, Emma thinks that she’s learned her lessons in matchmaking. Luckily for us (if not for Harriet), she hasn’t.
When the dashing Frank Churchill comes to town, Emma tries very hard to fall in love with him herself. She can’t seem to fall head over heels for him, but she does manage to make a good deal of mischief by flirting with him in front of Jane Fairfax, a young woman who recently returned to Highbury to live with her aunts. Meanwhile, Emma decides that Frank might just be the perfect new man for Harriet.
Emma’s exploits are watched – and commented upon – by her good friend, Mr. Knightley. Although Emma frequently ignores his advice, she cherishes his good opinion. When Mr. Knightley accuses her of belittling her poor neighbors, Emma begins to reflect upon her mistakes and even starts to change her ways.
Unfortunately, Harriet confesses that she loves Mr. Knightley, not Frank. All of a sudden, Emma’s plans crumble. She realizes that she loves Mr. Knightley too. Convinced that Mr. Knightley might be interested in Harriet, despite the fact that he practically lives with the Woodhouses, Emma crushes Mr. Knightley’s attempts to propose to her. Eventually all romantic muddles are cleared: Emma marries Mr. Knightley, and Harriet marries her farmer, Robert Martin.
Emma’s story is surrounded by side-narratives of life in Highbury, including the romance of Frank and Jane Fairfax, the marriage of Emma’s former governess, Mrs. Weston, and the escapades of the social climbers, Mr. and Mrs. Elton. (non illustrated)

About the Series: For over 100 years Oxford World's Classics has made available the broadest spectrum of literature from around the globe. Each affordable volume reflects Oxford's commitment to scholarship, providing the most accurate text plus a wealth of other valuable features, including expert introductions by leading authorities, voluminous notes to clarify the text, up-to-date bibliographies for further study, and much more.

At twenty-seven, Anne Elliot is no longer young and has few romantic prospects. Eight years earlier, she had been persuaded by her friend Lady Russell to break off her engagement to Frederick Wentworth, a handsome naval captain with neither fortune nor rank. What happens when they encounter each other again is movingly told in Jane Austen's last completed novel. Set in the fashionable societies of Lyme Regis and Bath, "Persuasion" is a brilliant satire of vanity and pretension, but, above all, it is a love story tinged with the heartache of missed opportunities.

A Curiously Uncommon Short Story by Award-Winning Author Andrew Biss

Ethel, a frail, widowed pensioner, sits down one evening to tackle her daily crossword puzzle, when suddenly her tranquil world is turned upside down as a burglar breaks into her home believing it to be unoccupied. While Ethel vainly attempts to forge a relationship with the violent delinquent before her, his concerns lie only in getting his hands on her valuables...that and the unpleasant smell that fills the room. As Ethel shamefully admits, it's an embarrassing odour for a seventy-eight year old to have, but what her intruder doesn't know is quite why...though he's about to find out!

A darkly humorous short story of approximately 3,800 words (20pp). Contains mature language.

Taken from the short story collection: Strange Tales of the Curiously Uncommon